When you tell me about past crushes and ex girlfriends,
It doesn’t phase me. I just sit back, relax, and smile at your stories. ‘Cause no matter how hard they tried to please you, and regardless of the number of girls who fought for your attention…
I was the one who did something right.
April 2011
40 posts
If gravity couldn't stop me from falling in love with you, then no one else can.
December
Olivia
Olivia - December
Who am I to you? Did I ever mean a thing? I trusted you, I was such a fool. No, you never meant one word you said.
I really don’t even know what to say to you right now. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mad and this disgusted at anybody before. So congratulations, you win the award of asshole of the year, and trust me, this isn’t something you want to win, not coming from me. You want what you want so bad that you’re willing to watch me suffer for it. You claim you’re doing all of this because you still care about me, but do you really think this is something I want at this point? You’re a monster. I don’t understand how, if you care about me that much, you can be so happy watching me fall apart, just so that things go your way. Because it always has to go your way right? You can never be wrong. You really haven’t changed, and you haven’t learned from anything that’s happened. You’re so at fault, and you made a mistake that you can’t take back. That’s the reality of it. I can’t stand to look at you, nor talk to you ever again so please just leave me alone.
Remember when you used to say, yeah what I did was wack, but you don’t get a nigga back like that. So much for that.
Time is of the essence, I broke it, took it for granted. Love is like art, heartbroken on the canvas.
I can't wait to face you, break you down so low there's no place left to go..
It's so evident,
But I keep trying to suppress my feelings. Keep trying to conceal the way I feel because I want to believe I was made strong again. For a while I thought I was. I mentally took on the role of superwoman; invincible. Unconquerable. Anything but destructive, at least to you, and your love. But then you came along and knocked me off my feet, unexpectedly. Truth of the matter is, I’m so vulnerable when it comes to you and I hate that. I hate that you make me so damn weak, cause I want to be able to just walk away from you. Walk away like you mean nothing to me.
“Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn’t the world, it wasn’t the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don’t know, but it’s so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer
He’s different. I know, shame on me. It’s so cliche, ‘cause how many other lines in history have begun with those exact words? There’s just no other way I can put it… Words have escaped me. But trust me, one day, you’ll see exactly what I mean. In my eyes, he’s picture-perfect, flawless. The kind of boy I can see myself walking along the beach with, hand in mine, bodies intertwined. My kodak love, kind of boy. He embodies everything I’ve ever thought beautiful and aesthetic in my life, and that alone, I consider an understatement. It’s the way he serenades me now, guitar in his lap, singing to me with that God given beautiful voice, that allows me to envision us ten years from now, on a blanket in the sand, watching as the sunset rolls by. As for me, the rest of the horizon seems to disappear as I lay beside him and clutch on to every articulate note that seems to grace his lips and fill my ears. And as I look up at him, smiling down at me, he says hey beautiful. And although I’ve heard it a million times before, this time, I just can’t seem to let it go. There’s something there… He’s different, I swear.
Listen
RON POPE-A DROP IN THE OCEAN
I've given up a lot of me for you.
A memory still so vivid in my mind…
You were laying there with me, on that old yet comfortable couch, your arm casually draped around my thin frame as we kicked back and silently watched TV. Both of us in sweats, my cold bare feet tucked underneath your legs and my body intertwined with yours; it almost felt like time fast-forwarded us twenty years, because this was the way I always dreamt of seeing us; It was the truth. Meant to be. Supposed to be.
It was so simple. So perfect. Everything I had ever wanted. And coming from me, a high maintenance kind of girl, I was finally at peace with myself, and with life, for all that mattered, simply because I was finally in your arms… It was as if all the questions I had been asking for so long, had finally been answered. It was as if my life’s journey had finally found its purpose. We were so in tune, but all the while, my nerves were on end. My stomach didn’t even feel butterflies anymore; it was slowly turning in on itself. And my mind, a gushing river of uncontrollable thoughts, couldn’t embrace the fact that you were mine again. It raced at the thought of knowing you and I will be like this, for tomorrow, and for every day after that until forever retired our love. Right there, right at that moment, I swear, I could’ve died and went straight to heaven. You were all I needed. I felt eternal bliss; a heaven in your arms.I need to learn how to stop searchin'..
For love &let it find me. I have no idea what I’m supposed to be looking for anyway, so why do I search? Is it because I need to have someone or is it because I want to have someone? It’s completely absurd the way I act upon the thought of love, because I do certain things without thinking, when it comes to affection. That’s my problem.
I need to learn how to focus on the things I already have in life, rather than the things I want &can’t have, no matter how hard I try. I need to learn how to accept the fact that no matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough for you. I need to accept the fact that no matter how hard I try to search for one ounce of caring or affection you have towards me, it will never be enough. I need to learn to let go, &just have an open heart, to let love in, rather than to look far &wide for something, or someone that can care less about me.
I Don't Want to Hurt You
Latif
It’s better to cry now than to hate me later. Trust me, I’ve had a broken heart before. And I know just how it feels; And know in time, it will reveal if our love is real.
Expectations. Disappointments. Failures.
Words cannot even begin to describe, the amount of pressure you have put on me. Not just this past year, but for every past year of my life, the standards and expectations you have set for me have become impossible, at least in terms of my capabilities. I can no longer listen to your lectures and smile, and tell you yes mom and dad, I will do just that. I can try, but I cannot promise you I will. But you want those final answers. You already have my future set up in mind when I have not even entered that stage in my life to start preparing for it. But it’s ruining me, do you not see that? That your overwhelming, over-excessive goals have made you blind to what I am actually capable of? Put yourself in my shoes. You think it’s so easy to just go to medical school. I die at the thought of it. I tremble, and I’m only seventeen. You think I’m so ideal for this just because that’s what you want to believe but did you ever stop and think that maybe this isn’t for me? Did you think about the reality, and the gravity of your wishes? This is my life. Not yours. I’m going to be the one going through hell for 15 years, not you. I’m going to be the one who one day may feel like jumping off a bridge from all the stress I’ve endured from everyone expecting so much from me. Arguing with me about my future has become a daily routine, that I’m so sick of hearing the same things. I’m sorry that I cannot be everything you set me out to be. But you seriously need to understand that this isn’t easy for me, cause one day it may just be the death of me.
Rejazz
Regina Spektor
I thought I’d cry for you forever. But I couldn’t. So I didn’t.
“When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I’m already better than them.”
—Marilyn Monroe
You're really simple yet sophisticated about love. If you get what I mean. I personally love all your posts about love and how it can be complicated. Haha, someone who actually kind of feels the same way I do :)
Aw, thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback <3 glad to know you can relate (:
