Got all my niggas around, it feel good don’t it?
Saturday Jan 1 @ 03:10pmThat feeling when.. You feel nothing at all. That feeling of apathy. That feeling of not even wanting to feel anything anymore. That feeling of not wanting someone’s love, hate, or indifference.
Maybe it’s time to be concerned, but a part of me keeps holding back. Right now, all I feel is me, my depth-less thoughts, and these sheets.
Monday Jan 1 @ 10:37pmMonday Jan 1 @ 12:03amWe all do. We’re not the same people we were two years ago, or couple of days ago. We are constantly changing, through the people around us and the experiences we choose to share with them. Our attitudes are different - the way we carry ourselves. We don’t think the same, we mature or grow more immature. We never stay the same.
If you can’t see the change I’ve went through, then you’re not worth it. I’m tired of this bullshit.
If there’s one thing I can say about my feelings for Frank Ocean, it’s that he has this particular mysterious essence to him that draws me in. There’s nothing I don’t love about him, and I could probably play this over again until I memorize it because this is one of the only outlets he’s released to the public that let us know who he really is. It’s his lyrics, his personality, his art form.. he’s different. And I like that.
Follow me
Tuesday Jan 1 @ 12:08am
2011 was one of the lowest points in my life. I made all the wrong choices in friendship and in love. I was self-indulgent with other people’s attention and it blinded me in my actions. It didn’t hit me until much later on, that I was impulsive with my emotions. I let those who mattered to me, go, just so that I could have a renewed feeling of being loved by someone else. Even if I knew it was wrong. I lived on the idea of going with the flow of things, following my heart, and letting it take me wherever it landed. I was headstrong about it at the time, but it turns out, I was everything but it. I was stupid. I thought I knew what it meant to live. I was just seventeen then. Nothing in the world was my fault, or so I thought.
But I’m human. I know I make mistakes; some more shameful than others; ones I wish I never committed. But I’ve come to terms with the things I did, and I understand now that it needed to happen in order for me to grow; To truly realize that I love someone who has been nothing but good to me and I have been so undeserving of. I realize now, to never fall head first into something I want, just for the attention and the impulse of doing things. I’m eighteen now. I’m an adult, and I must take responsibility for everything I do.
Next year I’ll do better. I have the scars of my wrongdoings in the back of my mind. These mistakes will never resurface again. I promise.
Saturday Dec 12 @ 02:57pmWednesday Dec 12 @ 12:56ami just listened to this a few times for myself. figured maybe some else needed to hear it. it’s called ‘4 tears’.
